By Theresa Blume
OK, I admit it, or confess it, whichever way you see it, but I went to the movie, "Magic Mike". I didn't really plan on going to it, but my 21 year-old daughter who had sort of a bad day, told me she would pay for the two of us to go.
First of all, when your 21 year-old daughter wants to do ANYTHING with her mother, you take it as a compliment, knowing that now a days kids don't want to be seen with their parents until they hit 50 (or maybe never).
Secondly, she offered to pay for the tickets, which means it meant a lot to her that I go, and I always like to encourage kids giving back to their parents so they know the value of things, so I felt like it was good to take her up on it.
Third-She had sort of a bad day, and I felt like as a mother I needed to be there for her.
Fourth-I guess I was curious if the movie was any good.
Well, we got there on time, got the tickets, sat down and suddenly everything I never wanted to see was in my face. I tried to be cool at first, tried to go with the flow, maybe there's no real harm here, but eventually I told my daughter I was leaving. I told her she could stay if she wanted, and I would go to the bookstore next door. ( Of course I hoped that she would not want to stay, but I wanted her to make that choice.) But she surprised me and willingly said she would go with me.
As far as I know, we were the only ones who walked out of the movie. It wasn't until we hit the fresh air that I realized I had done a good thing by being an example to her, even though I had given in to the temptation of going in the first place. She said she felt bad about the money, but I said, "The money was worth it, knowing what we are missing."
We went to eat afterward and talk, and it turned out to be a good excuse to talk about things that would not have been brought up. We discussed why I felt so offended by this movie, and she admitted she was also disappointed. She said, "Well Mom, you knew what it was about, right?" Honestly, I never really expected what I got. I made the mistake of believing in certain actors, but that's all they are is actors, and just because they might have been heroes in one show doesn't mean they are real heros. I think some people forget that because actors are often "typecast", so you start to believe that's the way they are.
I remembered another time I went to a movie with my daughter when she was younger. Harry Potter. She was going to see it with her friends eventually, so I had the idea to see it with her first so we could talk about it. That was a good thing. Not the show, but the talk. How I wish Magic Mike had been like Harry Potter now, but times have changed. (Interesting how the word magic is in both movies?)
Evil is sometimes hard to discern in this day and age. The good guys are bad guys and the bad guys are good guys. The slang for good is "bad" and the newest I've heard is "sick!". The temptations we face may seem small and meaningless, but I believe the Pandora's box has been opened, and there is no returning. After this movie, I have thought more about the old days, and wished for them, the simpler times when we controlled our language and what we watched.
I realize that God turns bad into good, and the good is that I was with my daughter and she saw my reaction and I followed my soul out of the theater, and she followed me. Even if she watches this movie again, she will know what I think, and that's all we can do as parents of older kids. My daughter and I ended up having a new memory and reinforcing our bond, and continuing a great conversation of right and wrong. Maybe God used me to help her in the future when I won't be there to make her decisions.
My kids are my weak spot, and even they can lead me into temptation. We all want to be cool parents, but it's better to be a good parent. We want to help our kids, but we always must remember we are also examples in our actions, not just our words. I wish I could be right all the time, but to say you are sorry, to say you sinned, to say you made a mistake, is better than always being right in my book. I believe it's in God's book too.
Matthew 18:9 "And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire."
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
END of TIMES
By Theresa Blume
Lately I've been hearing a lot about the end of times, and according to some sources, this is the year, and some people even say a certain day. There are people making underground shelters and some people are even cashing in on the fears of others by offering food that lasts basically forever, and other such things.
Every generation that has lived since Jesus believed that they were the last generation to see earth survive. The early disciples were convinced that they would see Jesus come back in their lifetime. But one thing we all forget is that God's timing does not go according to our human calendars and clocks, especially daylight savings time! (Don't get me started on that one.)
There is one verse in the Bible concerning the end times that we need to understand and take seriously:
Jesus said this: "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only."..............Matthew 24:36
So if anyone claims to know the day of world's end, they are claiming to know more than the angels in heaven!
God has a timeline for everything on earth. Some things last longer than other things, (Put me in a plastic water bottle and I will last forever!) but the reality is that every living thing is destined to die eventually. The day we are born, is the youngest we will ever be, and one day closer to death. So why shouldn't this world eventually come to an end and make room for a whole new project? I would much rather be part of the new project God has in mind!
We are told in the Bible to be aware of the signs and watch, and how to prepare for eternal life, but it does not tell us that we should be digging holes in the ground, and making shelters or buying food that lasts for years. I would think it would be wiser to appreciate each day I've been given on this earth, and work to prepare my soul for eternal life rather than try to cling to life underground somewhere. Truthfully, when the sun and moon give up their positions, and whatever else happens, I don't think I want to be anywhere on earth, or underneath it! I would much rather be safe and secure in the heavenly mansion that Jesus has gone ahead and prepared for me.
If you are worried and anxious about tomorrow or any other day in this year, or any other year, change your focus from the future fears, to your current blessings. We are only promised today anyway! Read the Bible and learn how to follow Jesus and listen to God and find peace in your heart that only He can give. Turn off the news if it bothers you and realize that TV only shows you what they want you to see. Don't watch, listen, read, or think of things to come because you don't know what is going to happen anymore than the weatherman!
Suppose you did think this was your last year for whatever reason? How would you live differently? Maybe you should be showing more love, giving more charity, doing more volunteering, and handing out more smiles rather than being anxious and irritated and fearful. Instead of spending your money on a hole in the ground, buy a hungry family a meal, warm clothes, or a car or whatever else you would spend trying to outlast the world's end.
I saw a guy who has spent MILLIONS making the best shelter in the world as his life's work. He is taking certain investors with him so they will all be safe. Sounds like they are re-creating their own hell for themselves! I hate to tell him, but he is going to die when God chooses, and a shelter won't prevent him from an aneurysm, or a heart attack, or getting hit on the street next to the hardware store! I can't think of any group I would not want to spend the rest of my life with, as the selfish people who are excluding the poor out. Sounds like the Titanic all over again!
I know my words are a drop in a bucket to the spreading worldwide panic, and they may not reach many people. But if you read this, maybe at least one person will resolve to live a better LIFE today and stop worrying about tomorrow.
"Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming."
Matthew 25:13
Lately I've been hearing a lot about the end of times, and according to some sources, this is the year, and some people even say a certain day. There are people making underground shelters and some people are even cashing in on the fears of others by offering food that lasts basically forever, and other such things.
Every generation that has lived since Jesus believed that they were the last generation to see earth survive. The early disciples were convinced that they would see Jesus come back in their lifetime. But one thing we all forget is that God's timing does not go according to our human calendars and clocks, especially daylight savings time! (Don't get me started on that one.)
There is one verse in the Bible concerning the end times that we need to understand and take seriously:
Jesus said this: "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only."..............Matthew 24:36
So if anyone claims to know the day of world's end, they are claiming to know more than the angels in heaven!
God has a timeline for everything on earth. Some things last longer than other things, (Put me in a plastic water bottle and I will last forever!) but the reality is that every living thing is destined to die eventually. The day we are born, is the youngest we will ever be, and one day closer to death. So why shouldn't this world eventually come to an end and make room for a whole new project? I would much rather be part of the new project God has in mind!
We are told in the Bible to be aware of the signs and watch, and how to prepare for eternal life, but it does not tell us that we should be digging holes in the ground, and making shelters or buying food that lasts for years. I would think it would be wiser to appreciate each day I've been given on this earth, and work to prepare my soul for eternal life rather than try to cling to life underground somewhere. Truthfully, when the sun and moon give up their positions, and whatever else happens, I don't think I want to be anywhere on earth, or underneath it! I would much rather be safe and secure in the heavenly mansion that Jesus has gone ahead and prepared for me.
If you are worried and anxious about tomorrow or any other day in this year, or any other year, change your focus from the future fears, to your current blessings. We are only promised today anyway! Read the Bible and learn how to follow Jesus and listen to God and find peace in your heart that only He can give. Turn off the news if it bothers you and realize that TV only shows you what they want you to see. Don't watch, listen, read, or think of things to come because you don't know what is going to happen anymore than the weatherman!
Suppose you did think this was your last year for whatever reason? How would you live differently? Maybe you should be showing more love, giving more charity, doing more volunteering, and handing out more smiles rather than being anxious and irritated and fearful. Instead of spending your money on a hole in the ground, buy a hungry family a meal, warm clothes, or a car or whatever else you would spend trying to outlast the world's end.
I saw a guy who has spent MILLIONS making the best shelter in the world as his life's work. He is taking certain investors with him so they will all be safe. Sounds like they are re-creating their own hell for themselves! I hate to tell him, but he is going to die when God chooses, and a shelter won't prevent him from an aneurysm, or a heart attack, or getting hit on the street next to the hardware store! I can't think of any group I would not want to spend the rest of my life with, as the selfish people who are excluding the poor out. Sounds like the Titanic all over again!
I know my words are a drop in a bucket to the spreading worldwide panic, and they may not reach many people. But if you read this, maybe at least one person will resolve to live a better LIFE today and stop worrying about tomorrow.
"Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming."
Matthew 25:13
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Write It Down!
By Theresa Blume
Years ago, I stumbled across a way of studying the Bible that gives me so much more perspective that I want to share it with you. Maybe others do this, but since I study by myself, I don't know that this is a standard.
First I have 5 different places in the Bible that I study at one time. Some in the Old Testament, some in the New Testament, and something in the middle, like the Psalms. Instead of just reading a certain chapter or whatever, I pick up where I left off last time and write every single word, exactly as it is written. I use the exact punctuation too. I don't know when I started doing this, but I have discovered amazing results.
I find more powerful understanding in the words that I would have totally missed if I had been just reading it. I feel totally immersed in the Word of God as I write each word for the first time. I feel like I was actually there when God called Abraham, or Jesus called the disciples, and it says "they followed". I find it interesting that there is no detail after that statement. They didn't say, "Let me check my schedule,", or "What time?" or "What shall I pack?" They simply, immediately followed.
I ask myself if I would have the faith to drop everything else immediately, no questions asked, and just follow! We don't know who they left behind, what they were planning, what they were wearing. I love the simpleness of some of those statements.
Another example I love in Mark 1:29, when Jesus was at Simon Peter's home for the first time, and they told Him that the mother-in-law was sick. First of all, that tells me that Simon had a wife, yet he still followed Jesus without any hesitation. Jesus performs the miracle of healing her and then the simple sentence, "And she served them." This woman gets up from being sick, and instead of making it all about herself and how sick she was, etc, she gets up and serves them. This is cool to me because I would love the opportunity to be healed of my own chronic illness and have the energy, strength, and ability to serve Jesus! This paragrah of only two sentences tells us so much. Simon's wife was taking care of her mother in his house, so there must have been some stress there. By simply following Jesus when told, Simon gained the benefit of less stress because his mother-in-law was now well! Today many baby boomers are caring for their sick parents and I'm sure they can relate. Who knows all the implications of this situation? Simon was just a fisherman, who may have been too poor to pay for a doctor, or a doctor was unable to heal her; then Jesus comes along and just like that she is now serving not only Jesus, but Simon and his brother too!
As I write these words out, I am with them, feeling like I am seeing them for the first time in real life. Writing slows the process down enough to process it and feel it. I study just before going to bed, so as I go to sleep I'm still thinking about Simon, his wife, his brother, and what that household must have been like. Being a mother-in-law is a high position and she must have felt bad about being sick and having her daughter and son-in-law see her so sick. Jesus righted her place as the main cook, the one who had the most experience to serve the best food, and take charge of the guests. Jesus gave her the opportunity to serve Him! I'm sure her exhausted daughter was grateful for the relief too! So much to think about in such a small paragraph! But if we just read it, we might not take the time and miss the experience of being there.
There are different kinds of Bibles to choose from, but I myself prefer the King James version, without any paraphrasing. I want to write the words as close to the truth as possible and then let the Holy Spirit come through my pen bringing it to life. In fact, if I am in doubt, I read the Torah, given to me by a beautiful friend because I know that the Torah is the closest I can get to the original writings. The Torah provides the first beginnings of our Biblical history, and I can go as far as Ecclesiastes with it. Fortunately we have several accounts in the New Testament to give us a complete of picture of Christ's time on earth and beyond.
I have had another interesting outcome from writing out the Bible in long hand, and that is my pennmanship is nearly perfect now after a few years of this. I can't describe it, but it's like I am more grounded, more confident, and more mature in being able to write perfectly. When I write a check out at the grocery store, I feel as though my check is blessed to provide food for my family. It seems there is always enough money in that checkbook since I've slowed down and paid attention. Even writing a note on a card is more special, or anything where I use my hands to write. I may be so bold as to say I feel like my hands have been blessed from writing the Word of God out. I feel sorry for the younger generation who almost never have to use a pen or pencil, and when they do, they become impatient and are messy. It's more than increasing finger muscle. It's like finishing who I am.
If you are ready to enter a higher level of spiritual study, try this method for yourself, stick with it, write the entire Bible in long hand, and over the course of time, you will see what I have gained for myself. I would love to give you what I have, but only you can get it for yourself. I would wager that if something is missing in your life, and you feel "unfinished", you might find it in writing the Word of God in long hand fulfills your spirit in a whole new way.
Philippians 1:6
"...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;"
Years ago, I stumbled across a way of studying the Bible that gives me so much more perspective that I want to share it with you. Maybe others do this, but since I study by myself, I don't know that this is a standard.
First I have 5 different places in the Bible that I study at one time. Some in the Old Testament, some in the New Testament, and something in the middle, like the Psalms. Instead of just reading a certain chapter or whatever, I pick up where I left off last time and write every single word, exactly as it is written. I use the exact punctuation too. I don't know when I started doing this, but I have discovered amazing results.
I find more powerful understanding in the words that I would have totally missed if I had been just reading it. I feel totally immersed in the Word of God as I write each word for the first time. I feel like I was actually there when God called Abraham, or Jesus called the disciples, and it says "they followed". I find it interesting that there is no detail after that statement. They didn't say, "Let me check my schedule,", or "What time?" or "What shall I pack?" They simply, immediately followed.
I ask myself if I would have the faith to drop everything else immediately, no questions asked, and just follow! We don't know who they left behind, what they were planning, what they were wearing. I love the simpleness of some of those statements.
Another example I love in Mark 1:29, when Jesus was at Simon Peter's home for the first time, and they told Him that the mother-in-law was sick. First of all, that tells me that Simon had a wife, yet he still followed Jesus without any hesitation. Jesus performs the miracle of healing her and then the simple sentence, "And she served them." This woman gets up from being sick, and instead of making it all about herself and how sick she was, etc, she gets up and serves them. This is cool to me because I would love the opportunity to be healed of my own chronic illness and have the energy, strength, and ability to serve Jesus! This paragrah of only two sentences tells us so much. Simon's wife was taking care of her mother in his house, so there must have been some stress there. By simply following Jesus when told, Simon gained the benefit of less stress because his mother-in-law was now well! Today many baby boomers are caring for their sick parents and I'm sure they can relate. Who knows all the implications of this situation? Simon was just a fisherman, who may have been too poor to pay for a doctor, or a doctor was unable to heal her; then Jesus comes along and just like that she is now serving not only Jesus, but Simon and his brother too!
As I write these words out, I am with them, feeling like I am seeing them for the first time in real life. Writing slows the process down enough to process it and feel it. I study just before going to bed, so as I go to sleep I'm still thinking about Simon, his wife, his brother, and what that household must have been like. Being a mother-in-law is a high position and she must have felt bad about being sick and having her daughter and son-in-law see her so sick. Jesus righted her place as the main cook, the one who had the most experience to serve the best food, and take charge of the guests. Jesus gave her the opportunity to serve Him! I'm sure her exhausted daughter was grateful for the relief too! So much to think about in such a small paragraph! But if we just read it, we might not take the time and miss the experience of being there.
There are different kinds of Bibles to choose from, but I myself prefer the King James version, without any paraphrasing. I want to write the words as close to the truth as possible and then let the Holy Spirit come through my pen bringing it to life. In fact, if I am in doubt, I read the Torah, given to me by a beautiful friend because I know that the Torah is the closest I can get to the original writings. The Torah provides the first beginnings of our Biblical history, and I can go as far as Ecclesiastes with it. Fortunately we have several accounts in the New Testament to give us a complete of picture of Christ's time on earth and beyond.
I have had another interesting outcome from writing out the Bible in long hand, and that is my pennmanship is nearly perfect now after a few years of this. I can't describe it, but it's like I am more grounded, more confident, and more mature in being able to write perfectly. When I write a check out at the grocery store, I feel as though my check is blessed to provide food for my family. It seems there is always enough money in that checkbook since I've slowed down and paid attention. Even writing a note on a card is more special, or anything where I use my hands to write. I may be so bold as to say I feel like my hands have been blessed from writing the Word of God out. I feel sorry for the younger generation who almost never have to use a pen or pencil, and when they do, they become impatient and are messy. It's more than increasing finger muscle. It's like finishing who I am.
If you are ready to enter a higher level of spiritual study, try this method for yourself, stick with it, write the entire Bible in long hand, and over the course of time, you will see what I have gained for myself. I would love to give you what I have, but only you can get it for yourself. I would wager that if something is missing in your life, and you feel "unfinished", you might find it in writing the Word of God in long hand fulfills your spirit in a whole new way.
Philippians 1:6
"...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;"
Thursday, January 12, 2012
DAILY NEEDS
By Theresa Blume
I've often wondered why did God created us the way He did. Being God, He could have made us simple, like robots, with no maintenance. But He created us with the need to eat, drink, and go to the bathroom on a daily basis. We have to get a certain amount of sleep and re-evaluate our needs every single day, sometimes a few times a day. If we are not in balance, it affects our life, so we have to pay some attention to these things, whether we like it or not.
God in His infinite wisdom and perfect plan, wants us to stop whatever we're doing every once in a while during the day to address our physical needs. We might get away with not eating or drinking for a while, but there's no way we can go without sleep or having to go to the bathroom. Why would almighty God make us this way?
I think He wants us to realize that we must be rejuvenated, dispose of waste, and refuel several times a day, so that we never forget that we are human beings who depend on God. Taking time for ourselves gives us the chance to ask WHO gives us fuel, HOW we are rejuvenated in Spirit, and WHAT happened to get rid of the sin that is in us.
Just like our physical bodies, our spirit needs rejuvenated by resting and praying, and refueled with the message of the gospel, and our sins are disposed of by Jesus. If we don't take time to address our spiritual needs, we will be out of balance and our lives will be just as greatly affected as when our physical bodies are messed up.
I have a good friend who is an alcoholic, and she has shared with me the importance of reaffirming her daily resolution to not drink. She goes to AA meetings at least once a week, and continues to turn to the support of her sponsor as needed. People with addictions and behavior problems such as anger, depression, or anything else must realize that they also need daily maintenance to prevent a full-blown problems. Just as alcoholics understand that there is a power greater than themselves, anyone with addictions and behavior problems needs to realize that they are being controlled by something evil. And you can't fight evil with human weapons. You can ask God to protect you from being attacked, and He will go to war for you.
For instance, it's common for someone who beats their spouse to promise it will never happen again, with every intention of that being true. But the problem is they think they can stop it themselves. They don't realize that the monster inside is not a human problem, but an evil attack of spiritual destruction. They need to call on God to deliver them of the waste and sin that constipates their lives and their loved ones. If they don't get rid of the monster inside, it will still be there, waiting for the next time.
I love the verse in Ephesians that reminds us to put on the Armor of God, and I believe we need to do this daily. It reminds us that we are saved, and the truth will set us free, and we are righteous, and need to be protected by the arrows of hurtful words said to us in the past. Those arrows were poisoned with the stuff that now comes out of us and are used to hurt others. We can't remove them our self. We need God to deliver us, thus preventing further damage.
Once the enemy knows your weak places, he will come back and hit that same spot over and over. That's what your shield of faith is for- protecting you from believing that you can't change. Once you are free, believe the truth, and come back to God daily, putting your armor on all over again. I suggest doing it the first thing in the morning before getting out of bed.
Just like you have to get dressed in clothes every day, you can dress your spirit in the Armor of God every day too!
Ephesians 6:11
"Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil."
(Read the entire chapter 6 for more detailed information and instructions)
I've often wondered why did God created us the way He did. Being God, He could have made us simple, like robots, with no maintenance. But He created us with the need to eat, drink, and go to the bathroom on a daily basis. We have to get a certain amount of sleep and re-evaluate our needs every single day, sometimes a few times a day. If we are not in balance, it affects our life, so we have to pay some attention to these things, whether we like it or not.
God in His infinite wisdom and perfect plan, wants us to stop whatever we're doing every once in a while during the day to address our physical needs. We might get away with not eating or drinking for a while, but there's no way we can go without sleep or having to go to the bathroom. Why would almighty God make us this way?
I think He wants us to realize that we must be rejuvenated, dispose of waste, and refuel several times a day, so that we never forget that we are human beings who depend on God. Taking time for ourselves gives us the chance to ask WHO gives us fuel, HOW we are rejuvenated in Spirit, and WHAT happened to get rid of the sin that is in us.
Just like our physical bodies, our spirit needs rejuvenated by resting and praying, and refueled with the message of the gospel, and our sins are disposed of by Jesus. If we don't take time to address our spiritual needs, we will be out of balance and our lives will be just as greatly affected as when our physical bodies are messed up.
I have a good friend who is an alcoholic, and she has shared with me the importance of reaffirming her daily resolution to not drink. She goes to AA meetings at least once a week, and continues to turn to the support of her sponsor as needed. People with addictions and behavior problems such as anger, depression, or anything else must realize that they also need daily maintenance to prevent a full-blown problems. Just as alcoholics understand that there is a power greater than themselves, anyone with addictions and behavior problems needs to realize that they are being controlled by something evil. And you can't fight evil with human weapons. You can ask God to protect you from being attacked, and He will go to war for you.
For instance, it's common for someone who beats their spouse to promise it will never happen again, with every intention of that being true. But the problem is they think they can stop it themselves. They don't realize that the monster inside is not a human problem, but an evil attack of spiritual destruction. They need to call on God to deliver them of the waste and sin that constipates their lives and their loved ones. If they don't get rid of the monster inside, it will still be there, waiting for the next time.
I love the verse in Ephesians that reminds us to put on the Armor of God, and I believe we need to do this daily. It reminds us that we are saved, and the truth will set us free, and we are righteous, and need to be protected by the arrows of hurtful words said to us in the past. Those arrows were poisoned with the stuff that now comes out of us and are used to hurt others. We can't remove them our self. We need God to deliver us, thus preventing further damage.
Once the enemy knows your weak places, he will come back and hit that same spot over and over. That's what your shield of faith is for- protecting you from believing that you can't change. Once you are free, believe the truth, and come back to God daily, putting your armor on all over again. I suggest doing it the first thing in the morning before getting out of bed.
Just like you have to get dressed in clothes every day, you can dress your spirit in the Armor of God every day too!
Ephesians 6:11
"Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil."
(Read the entire chapter 6 for more detailed information and instructions)
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
From Love to Passion to Abuse
By Theresa Blume
Why do we have so much trouble treating each other nice? I'm going to address husbands and wives, even though this could go to every human being on our planet-children, the elderly, the medically ill, anyone who is in some way vulnerable. I will save the other groups for another time perhaps because I don't want to turn one blog into a book! In fact, I may have to address just wives this time because it is so common, and different for both sexes.
Many women have been abused by their husbands either mentally or physically, or both. This is a subject that I have studied far and wide with myself, in support groups, with friends, and in reading. But as I try to approach this subject today, I wonder where to start.
I'll start with the questions:
How long does it take to get over an abusive incident? At what point does "joking around" become abusive? Does it depend on how many incidents of abuse you've had that determines how fast you heal? Why do some women seem to overcome past abuse and others never do? Can an abusive husband change for the better? Is an abusive man an evil man? Does a man only abuse his wife, or does it leak through to others? Why do women put up with being abused?
I'm letting this blog write itself, hopefully God is leading me here. I don't have every answer to every question, but this is what I think. Destiny. Love is an amazing element because we don't use our brains to fall in love. Whether it's a good person or a bad person for us, it comes together that we meet the one we seem to be destined to meet. Our eyes meet, our heart flips, the magnetism is so powerful that no one can stop us. Maybe immediate, maybe in time, we fall in love, and love trumps all sense.
Why am I talking about love in a blog about abuse? I'm pretty sure when a man falls in love with a woman he has no intention of abusing her. And a woman in love has no thoughts of being abused. It's the passion of the heart that leads us into relationships, and it's passion that causes abuse. Possibly, the more passionate a relationship, the more prone it is to being abusive.
Notice how we went from love to passion to abuse. A passionate person leads with their heart and does what they feel like doing, and those feelings can be very strong, uncontrollably strong at times. But a person who knows how to love properly, and has been properly loved, understands that love is not always about feelings. Love builds up and supports the structure of a relationship, and contributes to the whole oneness of husband and wife. Passion doesn't care about anybody except themselves and eats away at the structure, destroying it with anger, desire, addiction, impatience, controlling it so that the structure feeds the passion, leaving the structure weak and fearful. Love is unselfish, passion is selfish.
I think the answer to some of the questions above is that many men and women don't know the difference between love and passion. If they get caught up in a relationship based only on passion, abuse is one of the fruits. You can have passion in love--when it is mutually serving both people. But it must be controlled and if your passion makes you angry, controlling, hurtful, demanding, then it's time to check yourself. My suggestion is to understand that you need help, and may not be able to stop hurting your loved one by yourself. You will need #1-God. #2-a professional #3-prayer and much more. Passion is a monster unleashed and once it's out, you can't put it back alone.
If you are someone who is on the receiving end of someone who is angry, controlling hurtful, and demanding, you need to understand that you must be safe above everything else. You are not helping the other one by letting them hurt you. Until your spouse recognizes that they need help, YOU have to be the one to take care of yourself. You need #1-God, #2-possibly professional help, #3-prayer, and lots of good support from loving people who can help you.
This ended up being a different blog than I expected, so I know I'm not done with this subject. Today we talked about what is going on with you today. We will have to get to the other stuff, like getting over abuse, or where it comes from another day. But apparently there is a more urgent need today, and that is to face facts, and admit the truth about what is going on with your relationship. Are you in love, or are you in passion? Ask God to show you the difference, then wait for His answer and THEN trust God's answer. When you know the answer, then you will know what you have to do.
Why do we have so much trouble treating each other nice? I'm going to address husbands and wives, even though this could go to every human being on our planet-children, the elderly, the medically ill, anyone who is in some way vulnerable. I will save the other groups for another time perhaps because I don't want to turn one blog into a book! In fact, I may have to address just wives this time because it is so common, and different for both sexes.
Many women have been abused by their husbands either mentally or physically, or both. This is a subject that I have studied far and wide with myself, in support groups, with friends, and in reading. But as I try to approach this subject today, I wonder where to start.
I'll start with the questions:
How long does it take to get over an abusive incident? At what point does "joking around" become abusive? Does it depend on how many incidents of abuse you've had that determines how fast you heal? Why do some women seem to overcome past abuse and others never do? Can an abusive husband change for the better? Is an abusive man an evil man? Does a man only abuse his wife, or does it leak through to others? Why do women put up with being abused?
I'm letting this blog write itself, hopefully God is leading me here. I don't have every answer to every question, but this is what I think. Destiny. Love is an amazing element because we don't use our brains to fall in love. Whether it's a good person or a bad person for us, it comes together that we meet the one we seem to be destined to meet. Our eyes meet, our heart flips, the magnetism is so powerful that no one can stop us. Maybe immediate, maybe in time, we fall in love, and love trumps all sense.
Why am I talking about love in a blog about abuse? I'm pretty sure when a man falls in love with a woman he has no intention of abusing her. And a woman in love has no thoughts of being abused. It's the passion of the heart that leads us into relationships, and it's passion that causes abuse. Possibly, the more passionate a relationship, the more prone it is to being abusive.
Notice how we went from love to passion to abuse. A passionate person leads with their heart and does what they feel like doing, and those feelings can be very strong, uncontrollably strong at times. But a person who knows how to love properly, and has been properly loved, understands that love is not always about feelings. Love builds up and supports the structure of a relationship, and contributes to the whole oneness of husband and wife. Passion doesn't care about anybody except themselves and eats away at the structure, destroying it with anger, desire, addiction, impatience, controlling it so that the structure feeds the passion, leaving the structure weak and fearful. Love is unselfish, passion is selfish.
I think the answer to some of the questions above is that many men and women don't know the difference between love and passion. If they get caught up in a relationship based only on passion, abuse is one of the fruits. You can have passion in love--when it is mutually serving both people. But it must be controlled and if your passion makes you angry, controlling, hurtful, demanding, then it's time to check yourself. My suggestion is to understand that you need help, and may not be able to stop hurting your loved one by yourself. You will need #1-God. #2-a professional #3-prayer and much more. Passion is a monster unleashed and once it's out, you can't put it back alone.
If you are someone who is on the receiving end of someone who is angry, controlling hurtful, and demanding, you need to understand that you must be safe above everything else. You are not helping the other one by letting them hurt you. Until your spouse recognizes that they need help, YOU have to be the one to take care of yourself. You need #1-God, #2-possibly professional help, #3-prayer, and lots of good support from loving people who can help you.
This ended up being a different blog than I expected, so I know I'm not done with this subject. Today we talked about what is going on with you today. We will have to get to the other stuff, like getting over abuse, or where it comes from another day. But apparently there is a more urgent need today, and that is to face facts, and admit the truth about what is going on with your relationship. Are you in love, or are you in passion? Ask God to show you the difference, then wait for His answer and THEN trust God's answer. When you know the answer, then you will know what you have to do.
Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
It does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 (New Living Translation Bible)
Thursday, January 5, 2012
"The Glue That Holds Us Together"
By: Theresa Blume
Lately I've been watching the show, "Through the Wormhole" on TV. At first I thought it was about worms, but now I know it is about scientific discoveries and I'm fascinated. How I wish I would have been interested in science when I was a child! Now I love learning, even though I can't say I understand everything they are talking about.
Last night they were trying to figure out what humans were made of. It's actually only a few particles when it comes down to it, but it's very complicated the way the particles work. In the end, they almost got it figured out, except for the last thing-they can't figure out what holds the particles together.
It hit me that they are looking for the glue that holds us together. It made me think of the big flocks of birds that fly in all directions all at once, or the schools of fish that all go in the same direction at once, and can turn in an instant, all in the same direction. How does each one know which direction the rest are going to go?
Scientists might find the thing that actually causes this phenomenon someday and give it a scientific name, but I already know what it is. It is the awesome perfect power of God that holds me and you together. It's the same stuff that brings certain people together to become lifelong friends, or an adopted child to fit perfectly into a family who needs them, or a man and woman who meet and marry for life. We can't re-create this stuff!
The curiosity in me has learned that it's OK if we don't know all the answers. As long as we know the One who gave us the questions. I can learn all I can on earth, but until I see the face of God in heaven, I will never comprehend every universal mystery. We are made in the image of the Creator, so we are pretty smart. We are even given a little bit of God inside us, so we can do exceptional things, and He has told us how to live on this earth and how to prepare for our next journey. So we can look at ourselves and see the particles and the chemistry and the science, but the final finish is for Him to know. He knows what kind of glue He used, and why He used it and how He used it. He knows why the fish go in the same direction and why the birds fly south, and why the sun shines every morning.
No matter what we want to call it, I think we need to remember, just because we discovered it doesn't mean we can call it ours. God is the glue that holds us and our world together. Let's give credit to the real Scientist!
Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Lately I've been watching the show, "Through the Wormhole" on TV. At first I thought it was about worms, but now I know it is about scientific discoveries and I'm fascinated. How I wish I would have been interested in science when I was a child! Now I love learning, even though I can't say I understand everything they are talking about.
Last night they were trying to figure out what humans were made of. It's actually only a few particles when it comes down to it, but it's very complicated the way the particles work. In the end, they almost got it figured out, except for the last thing-they can't figure out what holds the particles together.
It hit me that they are looking for the glue that holds us together. It made me think of the big flocks of birds that fly in all directions all at once, or the schools of fish that all go in the same direction at once, and can turn in an instant, all in the same direction. How does each one know which direction the rest are going to go?
Scientists might find the thing that actually causes this phenomenon someday and give it a scientific name, but I already know what it is. It is the awesome perfect power of God that holds me and you together. It's the same stuff that brings certain people together to become lifelong friends, or an adopted child to fit perfectly into a family who needs them, or a man and woman who meet and marry for life. We can't re-create this stuff!
The curiosity in me has learned that it's OK if we don't know all the answers. As long as we know the One who gave us the questions. I can learn all I can on earth, but until I see the face of God in heaven, I will never comprehend every universal mystery. We are made in the image of the Creator, so we are pretty smart. We are even given a little bit of God inside us, so we can do exceptional things, and He has told us how to live on this earth and how to prepare for our next journey. So we can look at ourselves and see the particles and the chemistry and the science, but the final finish is for Him to know. He knows what kind of glue He used, and why He used it and how He used it. He knows why the fish go in the same direction and why the birds fly south, and why the sun shines every morning.
No matter what we want to call it, I think we need to remember, just because we discovered it doesn't mean we can call it ours. God is the glue that holds us and our world together. Let's give credit to the real Scientist!
Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
IMITATIONS
By Theresa Blume
I asked God how I could best serve Him and fulfill my purpose, and the answer that I got was to just be myself. What does that mean? Just be who you are. Don't try to be somebody else. Don't be jealous of anyone else. Be yourself. But be all of you, totally you, completely you, the best you-you can be!
God created me exactly as He wanted me to be. My body is not shaped like yours, my face does not have your features, my desires are not your desires, my talents are not your talents. God likes individuals. You can tell that by looking at everything He created.
But somebody decided women should be skinny, have long blond hair, big blue eyes, have straight teeth, etc. I'm sure that's not everybodys definition of beautiful, but it seems everybody has a definition of beautiful. And most women don't like themselves because they don't look like the current definition.
It's not to say we shouldn't try to look good or wear nice clothes. The woman in Proverbs 31 made sure to take care of herself and look good and made her family look good. But she didn't need plastic surgery or fake eyelashes to look beautiful in God's eyes. That was a human idea of beautiful.
It seems to be a childish trait inside to want to look like somebody else. Kids dress up like their favorite singer or someone else who has had a strong impression on them. They enjoy trying on different identities, like super heroes, princesses, etc. But when we grow up, we still want to imitate someone-the next door neighbors, the successful co-worker or boss, and sometimes our favorite singer.
It's still in us to want to have someone to look up to. But we misunderstood our instinct that God gave us. It is God we are suppose to look like. We are supposed to strive for the QUALITIES of God, but because we are visual, we think we have to imitate something we can see. If you look carefully, you CAN see the qualities of God-kindness, righteousness, love, charitable, strong-minded, balanced, patient, grateful and joyful and peaceful.
The best you is not looking like someone else, or acting like someone else, or wearing clothes that don't define the real you. It's hard to be you in a world that is always trying to make you someone else. The first step is acceptance of yourself. Then go on and learn to actually love yourself-every part of you! After that, all you have to do is shine. Then you will truly see God's glory!
1 Corinthians 11:1 "Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ."
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